what is life without change?
by fanofshenny
Summary: New version of manipulation.
1. Chapter 1

I was very old and very happy for the first time in years. I sighed in content. It came out weezy. My body was to frail. The radiotherapy was failing. Not that I wanted it in the first place. Amy had said to the doctor that I wanted it because I wanted more time with the family. The real reason was that she needed time for me to write a will. I had given her the template yesterday. She had yet to realise that the one I had given her was not the one I filed. The one I filed said that I left half of everything to Bernadette and Charlotte, if they were ever found, and the other half went to the charity that had helped Meemaw to cope when Pop pop got diagnosised. Also using my will, I had disowned Amy's children from the Cooper family name. I wasn't entirely sure who there fathers were but it wasn't me. Meemaws jewellery, the pieces that I knew Amy wanted, was being left to Missy's children. They loved my mom as much as I had loved Meemaw. I knew Mom was going to be furious when she found out. I thought of the day that I learnt Meemaw was gone.

A few hours after the train ride Amy drove me home. I had tried to argue with her, unsuccessfully, as I wanted to see Penny. She had taken on the look of someone sucking a extremely sour lemon as she explained that Leonard and Penny were probably spending time together as a couple which was their right. I was going to point out that Penny planned to break up with Leonard again but she clearly wasn't listening anymore. I had just stopped arguing. Once inside, I was confused as to why she had insisted that she come up with me but again I decided not to argue hoping that if I stayed silent she would leave faster. She had gone to the bathroom. I had placed my bag down by my desk and had sat in my desk chair to get on my work. In my head I was wondering why she had not explained that she had just needed the bathroom. To my shock and disgust she came out in her underwear and had tried, unsuccessfully, to climb into my lap on my desk chair. It had disgusted me because she was not beautifully tanned nor curvy. Most of all her dull brown hair was everywhere. I nearly shook my head at how simple her carnal instincts made her brain. She thought a simple kiss, that I had not quite enjoyed, would lead to sex. If I didn't know better I'd wait for the bazinga. I was going to tell her to go get dressed when my phone rang. It was my mom and she was crying. Meemaw was gone. I started crying for the first time in my life. My brain went hazy. Amy didn't seem to care. Amy didn't ask what was wrong she just tried to undo my pants. I pushed her away and I walked out of my apartment. I knocked once Penny's door and waited. She took one look at me and she hugged me. I told her about Meemaw whilst crying. She called me sweetie and held me while I cried. It soothed the pain until I eventually fell asleep on her couch.

Connecting the last two wires I almost whooped. A project I had worked on since my twentys was finally finished. I had achieved time travel. It was stable enough for one trip. I knew where I was going and I didn't care that I wouldn't be coming back. Things had gone so wrong. My life wasn't what I wanted it to be at all. Changes had occured. Changes I was uncomfortable with.

The day after I found out Meemaw was gone. To my fury when I woke up the next day Amy tricked me. She told me she was taking me to the train store. We went to her house. While I had been at Penny's sleeping Amy and Leonard had packed and brought all of my stuff to Amy's. Before I could start ranting she gave me a drink which I had stupidly drank. Years later I had discovered that Amy had one of her friends produce a instant result mind altering serum, that went on to make her name huge in the scientific world , which Amy then gave to myself and Penny.

Everything had gone wrong from that day onwards. The serum giving to Penny had made the woman I know disappear. Within three months of the serums administration and the galleons of alcohol that he continued to drown her in Leonard had proposed twice. The first time a little bit of the old Penny had fought through and had said no. He added a few more drops to her dosage and tried again two days later. Penny, in her serum and alcohol haze, said yes. They married two months later in a ceremony that from her family only her father attended and his happiness that his daughter had married someone successful and smart blinded him of the changes that occurred in his daughter. They had gone on honeymoon and Amy had started laying hints that she wanted to get married. Because of the serum I thought that when she was happy I was happy so I proposed. On the day we told Penny and Leonard about the engagement penny had a miscarriage. It was the straw that broke the camels back. Mentally she was gone. It was around that time that Leonard started sleeping with Alex. Though Howard didn't want to change her personality, he wanted to start a family with a reluctant Bernadette and had amy produce a fertility potion and a aphrodisiac mixture. It worked. A week after the birth of charlotte, The daughter of Bernadette and Howard Alex found out she was pregnant. Leonard was happy at first. Until he accidently overheard Alex telling another grad student that the baby wasn't Leonards. He went home and he took it out on Penny. But he didn't get the reaction he wanted. There was no emotion left for her to care. Penny was gone. She was dead. Leonard was in prison. He had a life sentence for cold-blooded murder. After the trial Bernadette disappeared along with her one year old daughter. I had spent months trying to find her but the police just treated her as a runaway. It was three months after I stopped trying to get help from the police that the truth came out. Howard was gay with Raj. Bernadette had discovered them together. But I don't think she ran away. I think he sent her away. I later found out that Raj had discovered he was gay by sleeping with stuart who is still under suspicion by myself for being the father of at least one of Amy's kids. If im being honest I really didn't care. My own children didn't make me happy, not like children did for other parents. They werent my pride and joy and they looked nothing like me nor how I always imagined my kids would look like. I felt horrible for saying it but it was a loveless family.

Leonard had destroyed Penny piece by piece. But he had not been alone, I had helped. I had chosen the wrong woman. All the years ago I should have grabbed the tiny blonde, who called me a beautiful mind, by the waist and kissed her. But I didn't. I broke her heart, crushed her soul and left her helpless at the mercy of Leonard. I had to go back. I had to save her. She deserved so much better. The woman I had met all those years ago was a star. She sparkled like a star and she light up my whole world with every action. She came into my calm and organised life and changed everything. I loved every second of it. I loved her with my heart, my soul. She was my star. My life. My one and only. My penny blossom.

After shaking myself out of memory lane and wiping away the tears I went to my machine. It would send me to start again. I placed the cord on my heart. It would send my soul back in time effectively killing who I was now. I didn't care. Either the machine was doing it or I was. I was not going to let myself die of cancer , nor let myself die without having anything to live for. I'm going back and I'm going to change it all. After I programmed the machine to the right date I turned the power on. I looked around my lock up one last time. This was the safe space for my work now. I released the final breath out of my body and I was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up. Looking at the alarm clock on the bed side table. As always it said 6 am. I sighed and was about to get ready for the typical day of Amy shouting at me when I realised I was not in the bed I shared with Amy, I was in my bed from 4A. Had it worked? I sat up and looked around. Jumping out of bed I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I was back. I had a shower.

Once I was dressed and dry I proceeded checkthe calendar in the front room. It told me I was back in 2009, months before the disastrous Artic trip. I removed the horrible charts. I discovered, once I got older that they had been no help at all. Once I was finished binning everything I grabbed my wallet and left.

I went to take a drivers test. I would not longer rely on Leonard and Penny worked. I had passed it before as Amy had insisted I drive the children around most of the time. I took the test and was told I would recieve my license in three weeks. Once I was finished I hailed a cab and went shopping. I brought some fresh food, new flannels, towels, soap and once finished with general shopping I went to a jewellery store. I knew that currently Penny believed she had feeling for Leonard and I wanted to make a attempt at courting her. She had once told me about a bracelett her grandmother had given her before she died. It went missing before she came to california. She never saw it again, though she suspected it became meth payments. I showed the sales person the picture on my phone and asked if she had anything similar. She brought out a very similar bracelet which I then purchased. I hoped it would make her smile. I had it gifted wrapped and wrote a small message on the tag. To the brightest star in the sky, I can never thank you for everything you have done for me but I will spend the rest of my life trying. Sheldon x

On the way home I got the man to stop at a car dealership. After telling him to wait, with a promise of a hundred dollars if he did, I went in to talk with the man. I browsed several cars but in the end I ended up buying one very similar to Pennys but in blue. Once I had signed the forms I took the keys and left. I paid the cab driver and transferred all my purchases into my new car. I smiled as I drove home.

Letting myself in, I wasn't surprised to find that I was alone. Leonard must have gone to work, thanking the deity that I wasn't home. Grabbing my laptop I sat at my desk and read all my old jornuals. It felt strange knowing I wasn't the same person, especially after reading the one written yesterday. I was just about to start reading a paper on the electromagnetic system that I had not read in years when the door opened. Leonard Raj and Howard walked in. They all sat down in their places. Penny would be coming over soon for dinner and leonard was ordering it. He left mine till last and before he could order mine I took the phone off him and placed a order for chicken chow mein with spring rolls. I gave him back the phone and sat down in my desk chair. Leonard went to go collect the food, and Penny came in. She sat in my spot as a joke and was about to rise when I sat down on the middle cushion. "What the frak is going on? First Leonard comes to lunch and says you weren't home this morning then you order chicken chow mein instead of cashew chicken and now you are letting Penny sit in your spot?" Howard burst out. I had the urge to smirk at his frustration. "What's life without whimsy?" I said. Leonard came in with the food.

Penny scooped up her portion and made to leave as it was vintage game night. Once she was gone I stood up, to the confusion of the three men around me and left. I completed my knock on pennys door. " I'm not in the mood for vintage game night and I wondered what you had planned for tonight?" I asked. She looked confused but smiled. She leaned against the door. " I'm going out dancing with some friends from work sweetie. Im sorry. " she said with a apologetic smile. It was a nice smile. "That sounds like fun may I join you?" I asked. she lost her smile and her jaw in suprise. Gently I placed a finger under her chin and pushed her jaw up. "You wanna come dancing with me Whackadoodle? Well sure but we both need to get changed first." She said. I almost panicked. Old sheldon was trying to creep through. " Penny I was wondering if you would assit me. I don't have a understanding of fashion and you seem to have a insight. while on the subject I was wondering if you would be willing to help me purchase new clothes. Fashionable clothes." I said. She seemed to understand. "You want me to help you choose clothes for tonight and you want me to go shopping with you for clothes where you will actually listen to and value my opinion? " she asked. I nodded. She smiled widely and proceeded to grab my arm and lead us to 4a. She ignored the others and continued to my room. I heard Howard say 'is the world coming to the end?' While Leonard grumbled about dibs and bro code. I smiled. Pathetic. All of them.

She opened my bedroom door and bounced over to my wardrobe. She pushed most of my clothes aside until she saw the bag that missy had brought with her the last time she was here. 3 pairs of jeans, a pair of black timberlands and new socks from mom. She passed me the jeans and the boots. She was leaving as I pulled off my trousers. "What shirt should I wear?" I asked. She turned around and was silent as I put on the jeans. "Your superman top." She said. She went to the wardrobe, found it and passed it to me. I pulled off the top I was wearing and put on the top she had pasted me. Then I put on the timberlands. She looked me up and down and gave me her nod of approval.

We went back over to her place, the guys had left, and I sat on her couch as she changed. She came out wearing her red bandage dress and red wedge heels. Before we left I gave her the gift I had gotten her. She looked up at me in suprise but thanked me. She pulled off the tag and read it. Her eyes watered and she smiled brightly at me. She unwrapped it and before she could stop herself threw herself at me for a hug. She was about to pull away when I hugged her back. She put the bracelet on and we left for the club. Once we got down all the stairs and out of the building she made to walk over to her car but I stopped her. I pulled the keys out of my pocket and twirled them. She was confused. I walked over to my car and unlocked it. I opened the passanger door and gestured for her to take a seat. "When did you get a car sweetie? Have you got your license? " she asked very fast. I nodded and said today. She got in and I drove to the adress she had given me.

When we got to the club I got a suprise. Bernadette was standing outside, clearly waiting for someone. It was hard to see her after all this time. I vowed to make sure that wolowitz would never meet her. She deserved better. I parked the car and Penny walked towards Bernadette. After the initial introductions we went inside were 4 other women were waiting. We all ordered drinks and talked and danced most of the night away.

The next morning I woke up with a mild headache and a pain in my neck. I was on Pennys couch. In my state last night I had not been able to find my keys. Penny was snoring in her bedroom. I texted her a message before leaving. Shining star, Last night was the most fun I've had in a long time. I felt calm and relaxed even out of my depth. Thank you. This morning I have things to sort out. I'll be back later for our shopping trip later. breakfast and coffee are on the table. sheldon x

I went over to 4a and grabbed my chinos and flash shirt. They went into a gym bag along with some work out clothes. I walked down the stairs and out the building. I placed the bag on the passanger seat and drove off. I arrived at the gym. I knew for my age that I was mildly strong. In the past, when I was in my fourtys , I had taken Karate, Judo and Boxing to ensure that nobody would be able to force me into things I didn't want to do. I still remembered it all. But I needed to build up my muscle mass. It was pitiful and very poor. After paying for membership I headed for the lockers. Next to the lockers were benches. I placed my bag on one of them and began to I was finished I unlocked a locker and placed my stuff inside. After it was locked I headed to the gym. Beginning with weights and once it was set to a correct amount I began to work out. After one hour of hardcore workout my arms were very tired. Cursing in my mind about tiny muscle mass I admited defeat and went back to the locker room. After a quick shower I got dressed. Once everything was back in my bag I placed it over my shoulder and began to leave.

I drove to work. I parked in my spot and went Inside. It had been years since I had been anywhere near caltech. Seeing doctor gabelhouser was going to be weird as the last time was at his funeral. I went to my office snd got on with my work. On the way to lunch I suprised a few people. I complimented Leslie winkle on her latest paper. She was so suprised she didn't call me dumbass. Once in the canteen I got my lunch and sat at Barry Kripkies table. He was alone. "Coopew? Why awe you sitting at my tabwe?" He said. He looked confused and slightly wary. "I would like to extend the offer of friendship. You seem like a nice person and I was thinking that maybe sometime we could go rock climbing or a activity of your choice." I said politely. He frowned in thought. "Why?" He asked. I gave him the same answer I had given Howard the night before. He said he would think about it. I took my food and went to my office.

I drove home from work. I went upstairs and unlocked the apartment door. I went to my room and put my gym clothes and the clothes I was wearing into the hamper. I changed into something more comfortable. We, myself and penny, were going shoppping later. But first I was hungry. I went into the kitchen to make something to eat. As I was buttering the bread I felt Leonard's glare in the middle of my back. Once the sandwich was finished, I grabbed a can of drink from the fridge and started to head to my room. Before I could Leonard stopped me."why have you changed? The Sheldon cooper I know had schedules, didn't care about whimsy, hated kripe, would never complement Leslie and made me take him to work everyday. Why? "

It made my eyes turn as cold as steel. I placed my food on the counter. " Let's get somethings straight right now. Number 1. You have no right to question me. Number 2. Don't act like you were ever my friend. You didn't respect me, you didn't you made fun of me, and you thought I was 'bat crap crazy' so don't start acting like you give a fuck because you want answers. Number 3. Annoy me again and you can piss off back to new Jersey. I don't need a roomate and I certainly dont need you."

I picked up my food and went to my room, leaving a red-faced and furious Leonard behind. I ate my food and put the plate in the sink. Grsbbing my keys and wallet I went over to Pennys. I did my knock and when she opened the door asked her if she was ready. She nodded and we left. I drove.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up bright and early. I dressed in a pair of black chinos and a red iron man shirt with black converses. Last nights shopping trip had been successful. We had a really good time, and even toasted to a new chapter in our friendship over a glass of wine. I went to the bathroom and had a shower. I thought of last night, and how good it was to hear her laugh. To thank her for accompanying me I had brought her a pair of shoes she had her eye on. When we had got back to hers she showed me the dress it matched and I had to agree they would make her look stunning.

In the end we had brought one tuxedo, a few silk shirts, briefs, jeans, jogging bottoms for my gym sessions, shorts, v neck sweaters, cargo pants and high tops. I had not agreed to the hightops but she said they would go with the jeans and I just wanted to make her happy.

I got out of the shower, dried and dressed. I was about to make some breakfast when I heard the door opened and close. Three seconds later there was a almighty crash. I walked into the living room and found a clearly drunk Leonard lying on top of everything that used to sit on my desk. I wanted to punch him. I was going to but he looked so pathetic and sad that I just pointed towards his room and he ran, as well as a drunk man could.

I began to slowly pick everything up and at first I thought that nothing serious was broken then I noticed it lying face down. He had broken the frame that meemaw and pop-pop had given me for my sixth birthday. He was a dead man. I stormed into his room. He was crashed out. I was going to hit him, as hard as I could, but then I realised I could get sweet revenge. I could slowly but surely make him pay for everything he had ever done to Penny, and if it didn't work I would make Beverly Hofstater a very happy woman.

I left his room and went into mine. I gingerly placed the frame on my shelve in my cupboard. It would be safe there. I took few deep breaths and then grabbed my jacket, my keys and my wallet and went to work.

On the way back from work I picked up some thai food. I drove home. After parking I walked into the building. Once I checked the box, empty, iwalked up the stairs. I was on the third floor when I heard a blast of music. I smiled to myself. My Penny was back. Climbing the last step I instantly noticed Penny dancing like a loon. It made me glad that Leonard had drunk himself stupid. He had taken the Penny that I knew and bit by bit he chipped away at her. He made comments about her waitressing, her acting and even her dressing till eventually Penny gave up and just went along with what he said, wore what he wanted and quit her jobs. The Penny who had once kicked a nerd in the nuts for me was gone. Gone was the twinkle when she smied, the karoke nights, the sober nights, gone was my Penny. Then when she finally had nothing left for him to take he had just lost it. She had no free will and would have done anything he said but it still wasn't enough. He had wanted everything from Penny and in the end he had gotten it.

I walked over, and knocked on the already open door to get her attention. She grinned widely at me. I then proceeded to invite the dancing loon over to my apartment. She wondered aloud where Leonard was and I told her he was sleeping off a bender. She looked at the clock and pulled a face. She grabbed her keys and I lead her inside and she sat in my spot. I went to get us some orange juice and was turning round, unaware that she was behind me and spilt orange juice down her. She started giggling and I gently pushed her in the direction of our shower.

I picked some plates and started transferring the thai food from the containers onto plates. She came out in a towel. She looked so Beautiful. White towel wrapped around gold body. Tanned legs and arms peeping out. Golden locks tied in a messy bun. Without a second I thought I pulled off my shirt and held it out to her. " It's just so you can get across the corridor to grab some clothes." I explained as she had a shocked expression on her face. It was only then did I realise she was staring at me and not the shirt. I smirk. I ask for her key. she handed it to me and I went and grabbed her some shorts

When I came back she's wearing my shirt and has grabbed her plate of thai. I passed her the shorts I had grabbed and she slipped them on. After grabbing a white shirt and putting it on I spent a pleasant afternoon talking, laughing and just laying the foundation of a proper relationship with Penny, whether it be friendship or something more.

I was nearly finished eating when Penny asked me the question I had been dreading. "Sheldon why have you changed?" She asked. She was serious. She hardly ever called me Sheldon. It was either sweetie, moonpie or wackadoodle. I sighed and gave a honest answer, as honest as I could be.

"Penny when I was a child my parents knew quite quickly that I was diffrent. Theh weren't the only ones who noticed though. The other kids around me noticed too. To protect my self I built walls. But the walls caused more problems. I developed several phobias. Recent events have caused me to want to let the walls down. I'm slowly trying to fix myself." I said.

She took my hand and enveloped me into a hug. At some point I must have started crying because once she pulled away she leaned up to wipe the away. We hugged for several seconds longer before letting go. We went back to our meals. After we were finished I put the empty cartoons in the bin. I pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. I poured to glasses and gave her one. As a toast I just said "To a new Sheldon Lee Cooper". The wine was a nice French one that gablehouser had given me last year. I had meant to throw it away but I guessed it had slipped my mind. She grinned at the toast and practically leapt at me wrapping her arms tightly around my neck and gave me a tight hug. I hugged her back. Leonard choose to make his entrance.


	4. Chapter 4

He walked in and attempted to glare at me, remembered something, and averted his eyes. He begun to stare at Penny, who was still in my lap. I felt her become uncomfortable. She pulled away from the hug and placed herself back on the couch. He stood and stared until he spotted what she was wearing. My iron man top.

Her years of acting classes assisted her in hiding her discomfort but to my surprise she inched closer to me, somehow knowing I would protect her. Leonard didn't miss her move. At first he frowned at how close she was to me while his eyes narrowed in suspicion. I could practically read his thoughts. He believed that I would jump up or push her away, upset her and allow him to comfort her. I shook my head. I gently stroked her arm to reassure her I was there and to prove him wrong. Her body began to relax against me to my surprise and Leonard's fury.

He threw himself down on the armchair. I heard it groan under his weight. " Hey Penny. If I had known you were here I would have woken up sooner. But why are you wearing Sheldons top?" He said. He tried to smile but his voice was definitely not reassuring. His eyes roamed up and down her body. He glared at my shirt and then he looked at me in jealousy. "Hey Leonard. Sheldon invited me other for lunch but then there was an accident with a glass of orange juice." She explained. Her voice was not as friendly as it had been with me.

I picked up my glass and had some more. Leonard was clearly trying to think of something to say and failing miserably. When he saw me drink the wine he looked confused. " So how has your morning been?" He questioned suddenly, sounding very nosy. Penny frowned. "It was alright. I woke up this morning and just cleaned my apartment. It's not dheldon clean but its better than usual." She my thumb I stroked small circles on her palm to give silent support. She smiled at me and instantly warmed.

Leonard couldn't keep his jealousy to himself. He looked like he wanted to upset her or at least make me upset her. He gave a fake sly grin and pretended to have just noticed something. "Oh god are you two getting busy?" He said smirking with a suggestive tone. Penny flushed in anger. She stood up, walked around the table and towards Leonard. He winked at her not realising what was coming. She slapped him hard across the cheek, making his glasses fly of his face. "Not that it's any of your business but no we are not. Sheldon deserves better than me." She said the last part quietly.

Deserved better than her... how could she possibly think that. I stood as well. I walked over to penny and took her hand. I lead her towards the door. Leonard made suggestive noises, having not learnt his lesson. Before Penny could I walked over to him and punched him in the nose. He begun to bleed heavily.I walked back over to Penny, opened the door and walked out with her.

We walked over to her door . She unlocked it and went inside. She sat on the couch. " I just want you to know that in my opinion there is no better than you. Your beautiful and the brightest star in my sky. " I said. She looked at me with wide tearful eyes. A beautiful smile broke out , streching from ear to ear. She jumped up and approached me in 2 strides, and was in my arms. Her arms wound around my neck and her legs around my waist. Before she could stop herself, and before I could think we were kissing. After a couple of seconds she gasped in shock and pulled away. She lookedat me with wide eyes, filled with panic. I cupped her cheek and tilted her head up, leaning down. I kissed her again attempting to convey all my feelings in one kiss. It started gently and sweet but quickly filled with passion. The kiss unwoke feelings I had been denying for 15 years. Using my foot, I shut her apartment door. Turning around, I pressed her against the door and kissed her harder. She bite my lip and I knew I had to start thinking before I lost myself. I kissed her one more time before pulling away. She was still in my arms. I walked over to the couch and sat her down. She was looking down at her lap. I kneeled in front of her .

"I promise you Penny. This is not how I wanted it to start. I wanted to tell you how I felt before nything happened. For sometime now I have been developing feelings for you. I stopped the kiss because I don't want to rush into this. I want to develop a relationship with you. Do you want to be my girlfriend Penny?" I said. She lifted her head and before I could think her arms were round my neck and we were I kissing again. When she pulled away I jokingly said "I'll take that as a yes then shall I?" I said. She laughed and nodded. I settled next to her on the couch and she put on a movie.

After the movie I turned to her and asked her about her plans for the next evening. When she said she had nothing planned I asked kf she wanted to go out for dinner she smiled and nodded. I kissed her goodnight and walked across the hall. Once again the apartment was empty. I sat at my desk and began to look at the reviews for a intresting looking Italian restaurant. Once I was satisfied I called and made a booking for tomorrow evening. I had a shower and went to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Penny:

After checking the box, I climbed the stairs and walked to the fourth floor. I unlocked the door and after kicking off my shoes and dropping my bag I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I undressed and washed off the smell of cheesecake. The hot water was so relaxing. I lathered my hair and gave it a few seconds to seep in. Once it was washed out I grabbed a towel and dried off. I put on a pair of shorts, a tank top and flip flops. I brushed the curls out of my hair, checked myself out in the mirror, grabbed my keys and went across the hall.

As a joke I sat in Sheldons spot and waited for him to tell me off. To my surprise he said nothing. I was about to move when he sat down in the middle spot. I listened while Howard questioned Sheldon, before grabbing my portion and leaving so they could start playing their games. I was sitting down to eat there was a knock at the door. I wondered who it was. I walked over and opened the door to Sheldon. " I'm not in the mood for vintage game night and I was wondering what you had planned for tonight?" He asked. I felt confused but wanted to seem welcoming so I smiled. I leaned back against the door. "I'm going out dancing with friends from work tonight. I'm sorry. " I said with an apologetic smile. "That sounds like fun. May I join you?" He asked. I just couldn't help it. The shock caused my jaw to drop. I got a bigger surprise when he placed a finger under my chin and gently pushed it shut. "You wanna come dancing with me Whackadoodle? Well sure but we both need to change first." I said. His eyes became panicked. He was so innocent. "Penny I was wondering if you would assist me. I don't have an understanding of fashion and you seem to have an insight. While on the subject I was wondering if you would be willing helping me purchase new clothes. Fashionable clothes. " he said. Sheldon Cooper just asked me to dress him and help him buy new clothes? I had to make sure we were on the same page. "You want me to help you choose clothes for tonight and you want me to go shopping with you for clothes were you will listen to me and value my opinion? " I asked. He nodded.

I smiled and in my excitement grabbed Sheldons arm and begun to pull him to 4A. I ignored the others and pulled him to his room. I heard Howard mutter 'is the world coming to an end?' And then Leonard begun mumbling about bro code. Sheldon wasn't the only one with good hearing. I focoused on Sheldon. I opened his door and bounced over to his wardrobe. It was surprisingly normal. It certainly wasn't as bad as Leonards. He had a lot of suitcases, but Leonard said he was prepared for every situation.

His shirts were pretty cool but he butchered them with the trousers he paired them with. I began a search for normal trousers. Near the back a bag caught my eye. I opened it. I saw a little note. 'You'll need 'em one day and then you'll thank me. Missy. x.' Inside was three pairs of jeans, timberlands and knitted socks which were patterned with the batman symbol, adorable, that someone clearly put a lot of love and work into making them.

I passed him the jeans, the boots and the socks. I turned to leave when he asked me what shirt to wear. I walked back over to his wardrobe and passed him the superman top. He put it on, then the timberlands. He looked good. I gave him my nod of approval.

We went back over to mine. He sat on the couch as I went to change. I grabbed my straighteners, my makeup, my dress and the heels and dashed to the bathroom. I groaned in my head. He looks great and I look terrible. I put in the dress and then began to straighten my hair. Once it looked good I started with makeup. Once I was finished I put on my heels. I looked better but it still wasn't good enough. I sighed. For Sheldon Cooper I would never be good enough. I put on some perfume. I walked back into the living room. We were about to when he handed me a gift box. I read the tag. Did he really mean these words? Don't be foolish Penny. Your his friend! Nothing more than his friend. I unwrapped it carefully. Held badk my gasp when I took the lid off. How? Why? I hugged him, as tight as I could. His arms around me. So good. I pulled away before I embarrassed myself. I thanked him and I placed the braclett around my right wrist. We left. I was walked over to my car when he pulled out keys and walked over to a car similar to mine but blue. I was about to make a joke and ask him if he was colour blind when he unlocked it. It was his. I asked him questions. He told me he brought the car after he took his test today. It was a shock but it was long overdue. We drove to the club.

Bernadette was waiting outside. I gave her a hug and watched as Sheldon introduced himself. There was something in his eyes that just made me hurt inside. Of course he was attracted to the pretty scientist. He would never want some waitress who fails at acting. Get over yourself. I told myself to just smile but it was so hard. Once in the club I had a few drinks and it got easier.

The next morning I woke up. Sheldon was gone. It made me feel cold till I found his text. I was warm again for a few seconds until I remembered the look he had given Bernadette the night before. I never thought I would have to deal with this feeling. He's supposed to be a homo novas, but no because he clearly was attracted to one of my friends.

Bernadette. I had to work with her. She is innocent in all of this. She didn't ask for sheldon to crush on her.

I had a shower and got dressed for my shift.

I was sitting on the couch looking at websites. I had begun to think about Penny blossoms again. Sheldon knocked on the door. It was time for the shopping trip.

I woke up and smiled. Last night had been amazing. He had been so relaxed. I had never spent so much time with him before. We had wine and we talked. The shopping trip had been successful too. I now knew that I had to let my feelings for sheldon go. I got up and after putting on some juicy bottoms and a shirt I started cleaning. I looked in my refrigerator and realised I had a very limited amount of food. After getting changed I took the remainder of my paycheck and went food shopping.

Once the food was put away I put on the radio and started making Penny Blossoms. I got to 50 when my favourite song came on the Radio. I had to dance! Sheldon knocked on the door. He affectionately called me a loon and invited me over for dinner. I nodded. I turned the radio off and slipped on some shoes. I asked him where Leonard was. Drunk as a skunk. Who drinks during the day? I wondered in my head.

He had spilt orange juice down me. He apologised. I was gonna go home and use the shower when he offered me his. Easier. I had a quick shower. Then I realised the problem. No clean clothes. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked Into the living room. Sheldon gave me his shirt. His body! Omg. He went over to get me some bottoms, I pulled his shirt on and wrapped the towel around my hair. Once I had taken a seat on the couch I grabbed my portion and began to eat. He came back and handed me some shorts, cute pair that so went with this top, which I slipped on. He joined me and we both tucked in while talking.

The meal was almost finished when I worked up the courage to ask why he had changed. His answer left me so sad for young Sheldon. From the cupboard he pulled out a expensive bottle of french wine and we toasted the new Sheldon. I gave him a tight hug, one that I hoped would start begin to heal his broken childhood, then Leonard walked in.

The tension was instantly different. I didn't like the way he was ogling me, it made me feel uneasy. I felt myself inch closer to sheldon. For comfort. He took my hand. I relaxed slightly. He asked about my... Sheldons shirt. I explained. He looked at Sheldon with... jealousy. He asked if we were getting busy! I blushed and slapped him, and landed myself in it by saying way to much. We were leaving when Leonard made it worse. I wanted to cry but Sheldon dealt with it. He punched him.

"There is no body better than you. Your Beautiful and your the brightest star in my sky." His words swam through my head and before the voice began to posion his words I gave in to my temptation and I kissed him. The minute our lips connected I panicked. He cupped my cheek. Here comes the ' I'm sorry I don't feel that way...'He kissed me! The kiss was filled with love and passion and...and desire. I heard the aparment door shut. Before I could think I was lifted turned, my back pressed against the door and Sheldon pressed against my chest. I moaned. His eyes were an intense ice blue filled with desire. I could have melted right there but he captured my lips again and my eyes fluttered shut. My legs wrapped around his waist and I pressed myself against the sizeable bulge in his trousers. I moaned and bit his lip.

Then it stopped. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get on my knees and beg him to kiss me again. But he had come to his senses. He knew who he was kissing now. I had ruined everything. It hurt so much. I ached with the need for him to just tell me he wanted me. To tell me he loved me but I knew I would ache forever. He lifted me over to the couch. He was leaving. I couldn't look, afraid of what I would see in his eyes. Pity. Sympathy. Contempt. His words shocked me completely. Feelings for me? Taking it slow. We kissed again. I tried to silence my doubts by focusing on his lips . He suggested a movie. I snuggled against him, desperate to hold on to him, desperate to prove this was actually happening. After the movie we made dinner plans for the next night and he left. I collapsed into bed. I feel asleep thinking about the feel of his lips and hoping that I would not awake tomorrow and realise it had all been a dream.


	6. Chapter 6

We had just spent the night talking. Penny had been appalled by Leonard's behaviour. She had tried to blame it on the drink before arguing with her own theory, admitting that with the time he had to sleep it off he must have been sober. I reassured her that his current mind frame held jealously for the relationship he could see blossoming between us. "We only went on one date sweetie, why would Leonard be jealous?" she question clearly confused. It was decision time. Save Leonard or throw him under the bus? I could not allow him to manipulate Penny the way he had before, she should have been aware of his behaviour the entire time. Decision made, she had a right to know. "Penny I can argue that statement. At the end of our first meeting Leonard declared dibs, he used the phrase our babies will be smart and beautiful, with that statement alone he believes he holds a claim to you. It is his claim of dibs that lead me to feel confusion of my feelings to you as I made myself believe he had seen you first. It took me a long time, longer than I am willing to admit, to realise that it was up to you who you dated, not Leonard. "I said.

Instantly her whole expression changed. The smile that had graced Penny's face since our first kiss seemed to melt away to nothing. "That creepy little weirdo! He didn't even know me, yet he was already thinking about babies?! All this time I thought Howard was the creepiest of the lot of you, turns out I was wrong. Is that why he was so willing to confront Kurt for my television, to impress me or something?" she asks. I nod as she is clearly not finished talking. "I have bad news for Leonard. I was more impressed by the guy who didn't want to go but went out of his lack of understanding of loyalty and manipulation by his so called best friend. Sheldon we lost so much time because of one little word. Why didn't you ask me out after me and Leonard had broken up?" She asked confused. I had considered it. I really had. But it is likely that I would have got the same reaction I got when I asked her out while Amy was dating Stuart. It was as close as I had ever gotten to admit my feelings, and she took it as a reaction of jealously about the date between Amy and Stuart. She hadn't taken me seriously, not thinking I had really meant it. But I was as much to blame back then. By then her self-confidence was taking major daily hits. I should have seen, should have realised from her reaction. But I didn't. "I thought I would never get a positive answer from you. You're beautiful and amazing and by result I never thought I deserved you." I said being honest. That confession was followed by a kiss, initiated by penny. She shook her head, refusing to believe that I didn't deserve her. After a few minutes she pulled away. "I really don't want to do this but I know I have to. We both have work tomorrow. We both need sleep. I don't want to send you back across the hall but I am not sleeping on that damn couch again and neither of us are ready for the next step. Goodnight sweetie" she said. I kissed her gently on the lips, while holding her to my chest, her head over my heart. I said goodnight and made my way across the hall.

The scene that greeted me was deserted. He was gone, off to lick his wounds. If he fucked with me or penny again then that would be it. Beverly Hofstador could stop pretending that she even tolerated him, focus her pride on her achieving children and continue

to pretend that Leonard didn't exist, not that I blamed her. I had a shower and then I crashed out.


End file.
